


I didn't mean to become a father, I just fell in with the right angel

by everything_rhymes



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Humor, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Kid Fic, M/M, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21719344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everything_rhymes/pseuds/everything_rhymes
Summary: Kids ask questions.  Crowley grumbles.  Aziraphale has an idea.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 72





	I didn't mean to become a father, I just fell in with the right angel

“Aziraphale, we have got to do something about those kids. They come here every bloody day and they never. stop. asking. questions. Ever.” 

“What did they ask you this time?”

“Why the TARDIS is bigger on the inside. Why poo smells bad. Why head lice itch. Is Grandma really in Heaven. Is lying always bad. Why people are so mean to immigrants.”

“Oh, dear. What did you say?”

Crowley rubbed his eyes. “It was a very long conversation.”

“You were outside with them all day.”

“They made me play hide and seek!”

“ _Made_ you?”

Crowley scowled. “ **Made** me.” 

Aziraphale made a tutting sound. “Terrible for you, to be so powerless against 8-year-old humans.”

Crowley muttered something inaudible.

“What was that, dear?”

Crowley glared at him. “I said it was fun.”

Aziraphale waited patiently. 

“I’m good at it. They were impressed.”

“Yes, I imagine.”

“Shut it, Angel. It’s getting annoying. They trampled the garden and didn’t pay any attention when I yelled.” 

“I see.” 

“It’s your fault, you know. You give them cake.”

“They’re guests.”

“They’re not guests, they show up whether we invite them or not. They want to come back tomorrow.”

“You could say no.”

“They’d be…disappointed.” A shadow passed over his face, an echo of their shared memories, and shared grief. 

Aziraphale was quiet for a moment. Perhaps it was time. “You know, dear, I’ve been thinking. There are a great many human children in need of good homes. Perhaps we should consider...”

“No! Absolutely not. No. Aziraphale, no. We are **not** adopting a human. No.”

“We’d be good parents, I think.”

Crowley snorted. “Like we were last time.”

“Warlock is a fine young man.”

“Who’s in therapy!”

“So are a great many young people today, what with that…Brexit…and all.”

“And being told he was meant to destroy the world had nothing to do with it.” 

“It was an unusual situation. We’ll do better next time.”

“There won’t be a next time!”

“We could at least look into it.” 

“No.”

“Alright then. It’s just a thought.”

Crowley stared into his teacup for a long time. “It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“Their lives are so short.” 

“Yes. Indeed. But perhaps all the more reason, to make some of them better?”

“Some? How many kids do you want to adopt?”

“Siblings are lovely.”

“No.”

“Well, we could start with one and see how it goes.”

“No.”

Aziraphale took a sip of his tea. 

“You hate it when they get their sticky fingers on your books.”

“Well, yes. But I could put the first editions on higher shelves.”

“They’d get into everything.”

“Indeed.”

“But I suppose…”

Aziraphale took another sip. 

Crowley stood up. “I’ll do some research.”

Temptation accomplished.


End file.
